Here it goes.

I just need to pull the trigger on this. I keep saying, "Yes, I'll write a blog," to all the people who have asked and ...then I don't. I have written tons of stuff, but nothing seemed like a great, "Hey, this is my new blog."


Also, the word "blog" grosses me out. It just sounds ugly. Like most of the cast of Glee without autotune.


Anyway, I just need to write. I mean, who cares if it's random ramblings. That's what blogs are, right? I am just supposed to tell you what's going on with my life - cause this stay at home mom's life is sooooo interesting. Haha.


Yeaaah. Well, if you are just joining in on the adventures of Jones family let me explain. Wait, no - Let me sum up.
I am married to Doug. He works nights at a factory. He is sorta a shy guy. (True story: My best friend Thomas' fiance has been in town well over a year now and Doug has yet to meet the delightful David. This should illustrate how much my husband works and how little he socializes. But everyone who meets Doug absolutely loves him. He is just a good guy. Um, we have been married for - holy crap- um, like almost nine years now. Whoa. Time. What an absurd measurement. We met at Bible school we call "Jesus Jail." We were youth pastors. That was a different season in our life. We are still very much believers, but our "ministry" now is nourishing our family. You see we have two amazing kiddos and I stay at home and Doug works. That is our life. We have sacrifed a lot to make that happen, but it is worth it. Yes, um...our babies: Missouri is almost six and Indie is 3. Missouri is crazy creative. Her quotable quotes and fierce imagination will challege you to be a more fun person. Actually, as I type this she is setting beside me "writing her outline" for a story about a fairy in a forest who wants to be a giraffe. I love it. Oh and our little Indie is precious. He is Missouri's best friend and worst enemy. He is a total boy and the most tender heart I have ever met. He calls Missouri "princess"  and he encourages everyone to be happy. He, currently, is on the other side of me coloring a picture of wrestlers. (We don't watch wrestling - so we are not sure how this obsession started.) My kids influence and inspire me. They are bright lights in a world that loves to be bleak. I don't ever want to expoilt my kids, but I will share parts of their life here - aside from that I am pretty greedy about my kiddos time. I am a stay at home mom - which means I am pleased as punch to stay at home with my kids.
Hrmmm. What else?  I enjoy diy stuff. I like re-purposing thrifted things and making them fun. I can't control a lot about life. Life just happens and it drags us along. But I can control how I express myself and how I choose to nourish my life. I usually choose cute things. Sometimes spooky stuff. Or really cute spooky things. There is a lot of sick sad things in the world. I try to keep my life as much of cotton candy and Disneyland as possible. And yes, I am quite aware of how I often stand out and usually induce giggles, but I like me. I like having fun and I like giving society a big old middle finger here and there. How am I giving society the middle finger? Here are some easy steps to achieve maximum F.U-ness in a daily routine.
1. Ladies (or gay boys), if you are really going to diet - go on the most effiective diet out there: QUIT LETTING MAGAZINES, ARTICLES AND TV SHOWS TELL YOU HOW TO BEHAVE, DRESS AND THINK. You're "weight problem" is Vouge, Cosmo, and Good Morning America. Comparison is the thief of joy. (Dwight Edwards) Turn off, put down and walk away from the garbage and find yourself. I have been magazine/bad tv/and fashion trend free for 3 years. I am happier than ever.
2. Stop letting people tell you what you like and what you need. It's not a "season must have," friend. It's a wealthy assclown telling you that your self worth and happiness depends on something purchased. It does not. You are a prisoner of want. Break free. Buy what you need - make what you can.
3. College education in America has become so common that it is virtually useless. I worked as an assistant manager for years at the mall. I did not have a degree. I was making the exact same as everyone else I worked with who had degrees. I, however, was not in debt for an education that was not being used. I will probably always work in retail and/or service.(well, when I go back to work) I am totally okay with this. I do not need a title and/or expensive piece of paper telling me I am worthy. Now, if your job requires a degree - and that is want you want to do - go for the gold, friend. Education is awesome if you use it, or if you don't pay for it. Being in debt to eventually only work at the mall is super stupid, though. You do not need to go to college.

4. You are a freak. We all are. John Lennon said, "I'm not going to change the way I look or the way  feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people." If we could all just come to grips that we are all weird, wild, worried and all oh so wonderful it would be okay. Let's embrace it and move on. Let's all do that, please.

5. Do something child like everyday. Color. Create. Explore. Learn. Be curious. Question. And be content. I suggest carrying Silly Putty and at least one action figure on your personage. When you get too serious, too worried, too big for your britches - bring out the fun and laugh a little - even if it is just at yourself.

6. Treat yourself to something scandalous everyday. I usually allow one soda a day. Yes, soda is awful for you, but one a day, after some stress and drama is good for your soul. If soda isn't your bag, try a snack cake or something else you enjoy, but tend to avoid. Don't let it control you, just enjoy one small treat a day.

7. Remember this motto from my father in law. "Fuck 'em, if they can't take a joke." If you achieve the F.U.-ness crucial for bliss - The world will most certainly be confused by you. Good. They need a laugh or an enema. I am not willing to do the later...so I will let them laugh. Sure, some of my outfit choices and quirks are not conventional and yes, I am sure it will someday land me on peopleofwalmart.com, but I like me. My husband likes me and I have had lots of people ask me to do this blog thingy. So clearly I am doin' something right.

Go out. Stand up. Yell a little. Have fun. Make them wonder and enjoy your life. And then hug someone. Anyone really. Hugs are the best. 

Until next time, courage.