In the 90's movies ran for months before going to discount theaters or eventually making it to VHS, but at that point I still had yet to see what I knew was going to be a glorious movie. (Being an eleven year old my funds were limited and ways to get here to there were, well, my parents.) SO I waited. And waited. And I waited ever so anxiously for my birthday, because my parents couldn't say NO on my day. Dinosaurs were going to happen. I could feel it in my bones.
That morning I waited patiently as our showtime neared. I don't think I moved from the kitchen table by the backdoor that entire day. I knew that when it was time to go, my Mom would signal my Dad, meaning the littler siblings were distracted and we could sneak out for enjoyable movie going freedom. One on one time with my Dad was rare. He worked beyond full time to provided for our huge family of 9. Yes 9. I am the middle of seven kids. (It all makes sense now, doesn't it?) Anyway, when you work to provide for your seven kinds - you work a lot - I could not wait to see dinosaurs eat people with my Dad by my side.
When we got to the theater it was dark. I remember feeling like a grown up - You know, being outside in the dark and going to watch a movie. It felt scandalous. It was awesome. I still remember the burgundy swirly pattern to the carpet and the glossy movie posters filling the walls of that tiny theater.
My Dad asked what I wanted from the concession stand. I was delighted! I was never allowed to get snacks at the concession stand! That was unheard of in my childhood. I mean, 7 kids, with concession stand prices. Sheesh. I can't even imagine. We usually snuck food into the theater like poor people who make good choices, but not on my birthday. Oh no, on my birthday, I feasted on buttery popcorn, Dr. Pepper and dinosaur egg gummi candies made for the Spielberg assured classic. It was what 11 year old freedom tasted like. It was delicious moment of perfect childhood.
We took our seats with arms full of overpriced goodies and ate ourselves into poor health. As light dimmed I remember looking at my Dad and smiling the biggest cheeseball grin, teeth speckled with corn kernels and gummi pieces. He smiled back with squinty eye joy, knowing, I am sure, at how blissfully happy I was at that moment. My birthday, my Daddy, snacks and dinosaurs.
The movie begins with Robert Muldoon (played by Bob Peck) holding huge gun, clad in khaki glory, awaiting a large raptor in a box. Obviously, this is where raptor eats a worker at the loading dock - and leaves Muldoon yelling "Shoooooot her!" Epic first scene.
The movie plays out introducing characters unforgettable and brilliant. Doctors Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler. The Newman of all Newmans, Dennis Nedry. Obsessive visionary John Hammond and his grandkids Lex and Tim. My personal favorite, Dr. Ian Malcolm, played to perfection by Jeff Goldblum. And who can forget Ray Arnold? The sassy, chain smoking techie - played by Samuel L. Jackson, who I am sure was tired of all the mother effin' dinos on this mother effin' island.
As a kid I was mesmerized by the effects and sounds of the dinosaurs. To this day, I stand by the statement that Jurassic Park change my movie expectations. Honestly, JP changed a lot for me. I no longer wanted to be a singer when I grew up. (I had this idea that I would be like Jem when I grew up. I would be truly, truly, truly outrageous. I knew it.) But that was not my concern anymore. No sir, I wanted to play in the dirt, get filthy and find dino bones. Bring on the paleontology!
It wasn't until I was older that I would realize that the T-Rex in JP was the first and, well, really only female character I ever really felt like I could identify with. Seriously. That T-Rex just wants to eat, breed on her own terms, frighten gawkers and have everyone else get the fuck out of the way. That's how I want to live life. Like a big, misunderstood T-Rex. Roar.
As a female I am downright pissed at females portrayed in media. Romantic comedies make me want to vomit in your unnecessary heels, ladies. And there are few things more infuriating that the photoshoped dolls draped in expensive and hideous fashion, altered and posed sexy to sell. And even when a character is written or platformed as a "strong" female - she is portrayed as just plain bitchy - because you can't have a vagina a do anything professional. I mean, you obviously can't be a strong, independent woman without being a total hag. (And if you add glasses to the mix you can only be two things: A nerd in need of a makeover, or a sexy librarian.) Them's the options, ladies. We are nothing more.
Or at least that is what I feel is being set out for us by current ads, film and fiction. We are a bitchy objects meant to sell things and compare others.
Society, media and anyone who really believes this codswallop: Here is my cyber middle finger.
You can't tell me when, where and how to procreate, Rick Santorum. You can't call me a slut for taking birth control, Rush. You can't sell me your overpriced trinkets by telling me it's a "season must have," Good Morning America. Cosmo, Vouge and every other magazine: I am not ugly because some dame, photo altered, is pretty. I am not fat, because models are size 2. And I am not gonna calm down cause you are flashing bright lights in my face, Dr. Alan Grant. I am an effin' dinosaur. My type was long ago extinct, but I am making a comeback and if you get in my way, I will eat your face.
So what you should have learned here is that a wee 11 year old left that theater with high hopes for a great future. I knew, even then, I am not going to be normal. I tried and dabbled in the world of normal girl and ended up heartbroken and miserable. Since then, I threw away magazines, turned my heels in for combat boots, started making my own clothes and stopped taking applications for drama. The position of crazy has been filled in my life. I don't need people telling me how to think, feel, eat, and live. I am a dinosaur, sugar. "Life finds a way," as Malcolm would say. I am going to live this example of dinosaur joy and fearless freedom to be me.
I want my daughter and all girls, really, to have an example that is real. Not a photoshop version of a female. Not a stereotype character. I want a better example, because my only example of female in media that didn't blow was a dinosaur.... A computer generated and puppet controlled T-Rex. Granted that totally owns, but I am weird. I want normal girls to have something real. Something tangible. Our girls deserve more than what society is offering. We all deserve a better.
So friends, join with me, watch in fear or get the eff out of my way.
No comments:
Post a Comment