It's my bag, baby.

As a wee Duff I was always intrigued by my mother's purse. I was certain her hand bag held treasures untold, like mountains of Smartees and craft supplies aplenty. You know, all the things she would need when one, if not all, of the seven kids couldn't stop wiggling during church. My poor, sweet, precious mother. What a trooper.

   Now that I am a grown woman, and a mom, I realize that the things we carry in our purse can say a lot about how we function. And since I'm a hot mess, my purse ... well, whoa man - It can get scary. Really, really scary. 

Now, I love purses, but not the purses/bags that Coach would sell. Those are boring and as I have said a THOUSAND times: my perception of pretty is not "normal." (I find most "season must haves" or big trends totally yawn worthy. Give me something cuter, with googly eyes and mayhaps a theme and I'll be happy as a lark.) Anyway, I like purses. I have a few bags/purses that I have made and few thrifted finds that are staples in the fun fashion of Hannah. I switch back in forth every month or so to ensure that I will, at least, clean out the beast every now and then. But in general my purse is frightening. We call my bag, whatever one I am using, the Sarlacc monster. I assume you know what that is, but in case you are pondering what is a Sarclacc - here ya go: 

This. This is a Sarlacc. It's like a meat-eating, plant like monster found a few planets in the galaxy of Star Wars. A Sarlacc slowly digest you after you have fallen into it. (It ate Boba Fett, but worry not the beloved bounty hunter escaped.) Anyway, this is the image, Doug thinks about when he is asked to get something out of my purse. There are few scarier things to my husband than a group of cackling ladies and my current purse of choice.

Anyway, the adorable Rita over at http://suburbsmama.blogspot.com/ posted a picture of the contents of her purse and then posed the question of what is in yours?

I have decided to answer this with my own picture and a brief explanation. Not that it will help to understand what's going on there, but whatever.

Now, what the what? Right? Okay, so my purse choice is a zipper/pocket friendly denim find that I scored for a dollar at the DAV. Win. I have added tacky buttons and a wee Captain America figure to the dangley chain - because I am awesome. Now here is the list of innards of my Sarlacc:

*A lace collar. Cause you never know when you might want to spruce up that Elvira tee. (I dunno.)

*Light saber/New Kids On The Block key chain. Whatever. Haters gonna hate.

*Tickets from the train ride we took in Branson.

*My wallet. Full of everything except money. And I always carry band-aids in my wallet. Always.

*Nail clippers. I hate hang nails and I like to keep my nails teeny. I suppose that's why I have it in there?

*Stick on tattoos.

*Small candies

*A teensy rubber ball. Why not?

*A clippy barrette.

*A lone battery. What the hell?

*Coin purse

*My business card holder with business cards ready to go. (These are delightful for when I am not willing to sell the bows of my head - I hand out cards.)

*An ink pen.

*Birth control. Yeah, buddy, I always have it with me, because I always leave the house before I remember to take it.

* Ibuprofen bottle with Ibuprofen and Allegra in it. Because I am old and one sneezy SOB this time of year.

*Silly Putty. Now hear me out here: Silly Putty has been a staple in my purse/bag/lunchbox since I was not old enough to curse. I love Silly Putty. It makes even the waiting the doctors office good times.

* Lip Smackers Dr. Pepper lip gloss. My favorite lip gloss hands down. Keep your snootie department store lip plumbing blah, blah, blah brands. I'll take my Wallgreens 1.50 special, thank you very much.

*A lighter. I burn incense a lot. Because I loved the 90's. And since my husband a lighter thieving smoker - I never have a lighter. Now I do, because, like I said, he fears my purse.

*An '84 Sweet Secrets Baby Doll locket. I don't know. Why not?

*Tic Tacs

*Trash (receipts, gum wrappers, half of a plastic Easter egg.)

And not photographed: My phone - I took the picture with it. Obviously. 

Okay - so what's in your purse, really, ladies? I wants to know. Post a pic, send me a description or write your own blog. And have fun with the contents of your bag. You carry that weight - it might as well be fun.