Food court 90's glamour.

So I am limiting my time to on the internet. It has come to this. I mean, really, I love me some internet and I could literally spend hours looking at weird shit. Loves it.

Anyway, I am limiting my time because I am wasting a lot of it. Sooooo...when I do allow myself web time, after I finish grown up things like dishes and what have you, I look up important things. Like Glamour Shots from the 90's.

There is something so nostalgic about those soft focused dames, posing awkwardly, with loud make-up and big hair. I mean, I was never a fan of it - but it was like a train wreck you could not look away from. And almost everyone I knew back then had a Glamour Shot photo session done. It was like pat on the back for those with crippling self esteem. Oh you are feeling tragic about life - let's take you to the mall, make you up like a hooker, put a rose in your moth, pose you in a leather jacket and take blurry photos of your identity crisis.

As a kid, I wanted to have my photo taken all fancy like, but we were family of meager means, and food court glamour was not in the budget. As a wee, awkward homeschooler, I wanted to feel pretty, and my opinion of what was pretty was not Glamour Shots... but I wanted to be fussed about and told I was "fierce." But I just wanted the clothes to be cuter ... or at least include more floral baby doll dresses and Doc Martens. To me, that still is the prettiest look. And I will go down in fashion fails for this, but whatever. I like me.

So, lets take a trip back to a time where blurry photos, feather boas and big hair were the quintessential signs of you needed and got an ego boost at the local shopping center.

That's right mall rat, grab an Orange Julius from the food court, turn up that Kenny G, and lets enter that lovely place called 1990's Glamour Shots.

This lady's applied to the Dee Snider School of Hair Design. She was head of her class 

I don't think this is an actual Glamour Shot, but it's  a soft focus David Bowie  holding a cat. You needed it in your life. You're welcome.

Remember when people thought bikers were super  glamorous? Me either.

Lock up your husbands ladies, this lady has her glamour shot set for rape.

This one blows. Literally.

I got my nails did. And then found a sessy lump in my neck. Here take a photo, quick!

This dame has Michelle Bachmann eyes. That's not a compliment.

Special thanks to google search, Ellen's Oh Glam, Girl and the FUCKYEAH GLAMOUR SHOTS TUMBLR. You inspired me to spend my interweb time looking at photos and laughing like a loon.

OOOH I have an Olsen Mills photo somewhere that my friend's dad - who was a photographer, took as a kid. I have a floral vest and they gave me huge clip on pearl earrings to wear. I hated that picture as a kid. I must find it.

Do you have a tacky Glamour Shot or makeover story you want to share?  Send them this way! Until then-  Hugs!